Saturday, January 28, 2006

Chris Perridas: H. P. Lovecraft & His Legacy

Chris Perridas: H. P. Lovecraft & His Legacy
Oh, hell yeah!
Lovecraft was The Man!
And Chris IS The Man for having a blog about Lovecraft.
Ia, Ia! Cthulhu ftaghn!!

My Theme Song

PAPERBACK WRITER

Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear,
And I need a job,
So I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
It's a dirty story of a dirty man,
And his clinging wife doesn't understand.
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It's a steady job,
But he wants to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few.
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I could make it longer if you like the style.
I can change it 'round,
And I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
If you really like it you can have the rights.
It could make a million for you overnight.
If you must return it you can send it here,
But I need a break,
And I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Paperback writer...

Update

Things are moving along again after pulling myself out of a horrible depression. The first book, although not yet ready for publication, seems to have pretty well gelled as far as format, so I'm happy about that. Now it's just a matter of adding details to make it uber-cool. No matter what, it's going to be unusual and hopefully at least a bit unexpected. Not your average "formula" vampire story. At least that's what I'm aiming for. Love it or hate it, there's no way people will say "well, that was rote."
In doing some research on autism (one of my characters is autistic) I learned some very surprising stuff about people with autism. About how intelligent many of them are. And that they have the same thoughts and feelings that "normal" people do. They just have different ways of interacting with the world. I am always pleased to learn something new about people and a bit embarrassed by my preconceived notions. Go to the autistics.org website and get schooled. I sure did! There is a wealth of information here and it will keep you occupied for hours!
It's time to start doing my taxes. I've used the H&R Block website for the past 4 years and it's been a great help. Doing it by hand was misery. It will cut into other things a little bit, but that's where the $ will come from for publishing/agency etc. I'm going through Trafford Publishing and want the works. This story may never be a bestseller but let it never be said that I didn't shoot the moon!(oh, but of course it will be a best seller! With amazing talent like mine, how could it not?)
That was me giving myself a snow job! >;-p I have to do that every now and then--hugely inflate my ego to keep myself properly delusional so I perservere.
Peace,
The Properly Delusional Cheesemeister

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Hail Saten

Hail Saten
This guy seems to keep his brain somewhere besides his butt, which is where all too many people keep theirs. Besides that, his books are actually being published. Which means he's several steps ahead of me. Well, we'll just see about that! All I have to do is lead him into the Everglades and push him into a pond with an alligator! Then we'll see who's the superior author!
Only kidding. I hope I can get my head out of my butt and become an actual contemporary of people like this.
Peace,
The Cheesemeister

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Death Sucks!

The story of a Vampire Cat.
I have to read this one to my animals!

Bruce Napoleon, Vampire Veterinarian

Bruce Napoleon, Vampire Veterinarian
Here is some good fun for those who like their horror with a side of humor!
That's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it...
Please don't hurt me...

Robert J. Sawyer

Robert J. Sawyer
A real live published author! Most excellent!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Decisive!

I've decided to publish the graphic novel first.
For some reason this decision had a two-fold effect.
First, I was relieved to have some of the pressure off.
Second, I felt completely drained of energy or enthusiasm.
I equate this to feeling like a deflated balloon.
I felt tempted to let the whole thing go, to never work on it again.
"After all," said I, "who the fuck will ever read it or care?"
But then something happened that really belongs more in the Gnosis blog than this one.
And I haven't got time to talk about it right now.
We'll just say its sort of like the time that Stephen King's wife rescued his manuscript for "Carrie" from the trash and chewed him a new one for considering throwing it away.
So, I will perservere!
Peace,
The Cheesemeister
(Creating Cheese to go with Stephen King's Salami!)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Hmmmmm....

Because this damn story I'm working on keeps growing like fungus and splitting into new sub-books like an amoeba, I wonder if I really will have it ready by my deadline?
The damn thing started out as a cheesy goth romance which I wrote in 1992 and wanted to expand on because it seemed to be too much the same thing as hundreds of other people had written before me. I hoped to create something truly unique and interesting.
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it. The damn thing is consuming my life!
Which isn't all bad. But sometimes its extremely frustrating.
On the other hand, I have a completed work. It's a graphic novel that I drew in 1994 while I was in the process of getting divorced. It's a far cry from what I'm currently working on. And I'm wondering if I should go ahead and publish it and let this other work continue behaving like that fungus from the asteroid in Creepshow which got onto Jordy Verill's (Stephen King) hand and steadily covered his body thereafter, then threatened to cover the entire Earth. (Now you know where the name of this blog comes from!)
I just wrote this great chapter, but I'm having to decide whether it really belongs in this particular installment of the tale. And I can't decide because if there's one thing you should never do, it's make a decision when you're rolling on one hour of sleep!
CRAAAAAAAAP!!!!!
In my next life, I want to be a mushroom!
Peace,
The Brainless Cheese Spawn

Sunday, January 08, 2006

A Nice Cheesy Slice

Here's one of those Teaser Slices from my story--due to be submitted February 15!
Hold me to it...
Or don't. I think I'm having a panic attack!
Here ya go:
Terry quietly dressed and left the house, going to the dock. She retrieved bottled water and rations from the storage shed, then untethered her motorboat and took off across the harbor.
"Where are you going, Terry?" her inner voice questioned.
"Little Tall, maybe," Terry answered, then changed her mind.
"Roanoke Island," she corrected, and the word "Croatoan" flashed in her mind, carved on a tree.

That's all for now!
Speculate away!
Peace,
The Quakin' Cheesemeister
(panic attacks suck!)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Hyperspeed Typing?

How can I make my fingers achieve hyperspeed?
The ideas flow way faster than 70 wpm!
And I actually have over 500 pages of material.
The problem is placing it into coherent order and putting flesh on some of the bonier parts.
Nothing like a good fat story...
Faster, dammit! Faster!