Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Only 2 Days Left

In my sidebar there is a little banner for the War Child project. This group helps underprivileged children. A group is creating a book made up of submissions from various bloggers. The proceeds from this book will go to help the War Child project.
Here are some communications between Loony Lily and the project coordinators for your intellectual voyeurism.

Greetings from the fifth level of hell, at 5:45 A.M.
I'm almost positive you haven't had anyone make this claim yet.
I'm Lily, and I talk to ghosts.
In fact I co-wrote a whole book with a ghost.
What makes this ghost very special is the fact that he committed suicide and wants to stop other people from making the same mistake. So he told me to find a charity to give his half of the profits to, one that wants to help people with mental illness.
We chose the World Health Organization's Mental Health and Substance Abuse Division.
I feel like I've failed him because he really wanted to get his story out where people could read and understand what was going on inside him. But so far, not much is shaking.
I tend to feel sad a lot too. And very tired. When I was a kid I had a lot of hopes. At this stage of my life I don't have much hope at all. I know that being depressed is something a lot of people can relate to. Being bipolar is something a few can relate to. It makes me angry because I feel like I have to consider myself lucky if I get a crumb of any kind tossed my way. Like I shouldn't expect more because I'm "nuts."
It's 5:45 in the morning and my shift at work is almost over. Perhaps not the best time to write because it doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense. Then again, it reveals what's really going on inside--what I try to hide behind a mask of some semblance of stability.
**************************************************************************************************************************************************************
If you happen to be crazy or desperate enough to want to print what I have regurgitated here (you're probably wondering how I ever authored a book!) I have a few different blogs, but probably the least depressing one (it's actually fun) is http://creativecrabbing.blogspot.com


Hya
Thanks for your mail - pick whatever you'd like to submit from your blog and send it in!
Best
SJP + Team


This came at the right time to cheer me out of the funk I was getting into! :-)
This one describes me and my experiences pretty well, and is short enough that it should fit your guidelines nicely.
Lily

Creating
I'm in the process of creating a chapter and I'm so tired I can't even think. It was dangerous for me to drive to work tonight, that's how exhausted I am. All I know is that I want the chapter to include Thor, Tyr, Hades and Freya. There's an argument about the Conquering Hero being imprisoned for an impulsive decision. Oh yeah...and my IBS is killing me. Being an author is very glamorous, folks. If you are one of the Beautiful People you should probably consider another profession. If, however, like me, you are mentally unstable, have numerous physical problems, have a great face for radio and a head full of ideas that have caused others to tell you that you really should consider checking into Happy Acres for a little stay and maybe a lobotomy, being a writer just might be for you!

Creepy Chess

The scenario is two girls playing chess. One has a bit of an evil smirk on her face.
See what you can add to this!
Also, feel free to go through and add to any of the previous entries. I use Comment Moderation, so I'll know if a new entry has been added. But it will help if you write which entry you added to with the older ones because the Moderator doesn't tell me that!
Here's the story. Please add to it. Don't be shy. I'm really getting tired of playing by myself. :-(
This story originally appeared here.

"Just wait till Izzie finds the squashed bug under the rook," smirked Eugenia. "She's going to freak and run away screaming. And then I'll win by forfeit. She's such a wuss!"

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Lez Girls

BTW, thanks for trying to recruit participants in the now-Undead Valentine's story contest, Indie. But Brittney really is much too intimidating. People are scared of her wrathfulness. And maybe I am too, just a little. Or it might be the spookiness of the tall spectral blond dude standing behind me--that's my co-author and he's just a tad bit ghostly, after all.
And now, without further adoo-doo, here is the story in all its glory!

"Ooh La La!" cried Pierre. "Les girls!"
He pulled his car over to the side of the road and beckoned for the two lovely lasses to come ride with him. He slicked back his hair and twirled his mustache, stroked his neat Van Dyke beard, and set his cap at a rakish angle.
"Where are you going, mon cheres a deux?" the randy Frenchman inquired, visions of menage a trois dancing in his head.
"To the Lesbian Power Convention, good sir," said the dark haired girl. "I'm Zoe and this is my wife Felicia. Thanks for offering us a ride. It's nice to meet people who are supportive of gay rights."
"Well, I was more right than I could have imagined," Pierre muttered to himself. "They are indeed Lez Girls."

Olveg and the Jackasses: A Tale of Competitive Ogres














Picture stolen from Indie's blog, where the story originally appeared.

"Oh hell," cried Olveg the Ogre. "Those blasted jackasses are back. They're always asking for hay and going away with such gloomy expressions on their faces when I tell them 'no, I have no hay. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week, never. I am an ogre and do not eat hay!' But oy, they make me feel ever so guilty with those disappointed expressions. I suppose I ought to get me a bale of hay. Just for the jackasses. Maybe they could come in and keep me company for a while. I seem to recall seeing a film about an ogre who has a jackass for a friend. Now if I had three jackasses? Well, who would be the better ogre then, eh?"

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Fun With books

Here is a little game you can play which I got from Jackiesue. You are supposed to grab the closest book and turn to page 123. Well, I wanted to use sentences from my book so I cheated. It kinda freaks me out that I turned right to page 123! At any rate, you go to the fifth sentence and then copy the three sentence that follow. So here's my very own Page 123 thang. I kinda cheated because I wanted to use the whole paragraph, so I'm starting with the fifth sentence and copying the whole paragraph.

"Whose choice was it, Father?" a dark haired woman, the mother of the precocious twins, asked. "For I should like to speak to whoever made this choice, because I am not happy about this. I don't mind it here, it is a good place, and you are a good God. But I am furious that my husband and my parents will have to suffer for losing the children and me this way. Why, Sir? Can you tell me why?"

If you'd like, you can play the game too, and you can think of your own sentences to add to my paragraph!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Story Contest Declared a Bust

Story Contest Canceled
by Kizz Myass
for The Crappy Times

The Great Valentine's Story Contest (see post below) has been canceled due to fear of the wrath of Brittney and/or lack of interest. You're still welcome to submit a story if you wish but there is no longer any competitive factor. Yam Man would be proud!
Kizz Myass