Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Deities Locking Horns

Yes! We met the challenge and the aforementioned chapter is complete--in first draft form, at any rate. Here is a short paragraph that you can have fun speculating an outcome for, should you wish.
Don't worry, I'm not using this as a method to steal material. First, I have the whole chapter completed before I ever submit a paragraph for this exercise. Second, usually the things that other people come up with are completely removed from what's actually going on in the chapter, and that's part of the fun. So have a go at this if you like!

Freya looked away for a moment and sighed. She was weary of this conversation and it had only begun. Thor and Tyr both seemed to be taking accusing postures and she wasn’t sure what Hades wanted. That one played both sides, just like Hel. His demeanor was serene but she was sure he had ulterior motives. Still, at the moment she would much rather deal with Hades than Thor and Tyr.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Creating

I'm in the process of creating a chapter and I'm so tired I can't even think. It was dangerous for me to drive to work tonight, that's how exhausted I am. All I know is that I want the chapter to include Thor, Tyr, Hades and Freya. There's an argument about the Conquering Hero being imprisoned for an impulsive decision. Oh yeah...and my IBS is killing me. Being an author is very glamorous, folks. If you are one of the Beautiful People you should probably consider another profession. If, however, like me, you are mentally unstable, have numerous physical problems, have a great face for radio and a head full of ideas that have caused others to tell you that you really should consider checking into Happy Acres for a little stay and maybe a lobotomy, being a writer just might be for you!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Little Goals = Big Accomplishments?

I've been doing a program called Tools to Life and this is what I posted on my blog there. Check it out and if you decide you might like to do it, tell 'em Cheesemeister referred you.

I think Day 9 has been the most relevant to what I needed to hear. There are no big accomplishments, only big results of multiple small accomplishments. It makes all the little "bullcrap" I have to do every day seem not quite as unimportant.

Promoting this book is an unimaginable horror. The book itself is a horror novel--the plot pales by comparison to promoting the sucker! I think a goal I could realistically achieve would be contacting one radio station or reviewer a day to attempt to promote it. I avoided papering my walls with rejection slips by publishing on demand because major publishers these days won't touch an unknown. Guess I get to have rejection slips anyway. Ah well, joke 'em if they can't take a f**k.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Screaming In The Night

Here is a short paragraph from my book to play with.

A cloud passed over the moon. Behind them a woman screamed.
"Oh Jesus! Oh Lordy Jesus!"

Go ahead and decide what she's screaming about. Be creative! And being humorous is acceptable.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Getting Busy

I'm working on the new manuscript. I'm more comfortable with it this time. The new book should be ready in 2009 rather than taking another 15 years to come to life!

Friday, August 03, 2007

Fiona the Plant Hater

Kimora the tree-hugger had warned Fiona against her aggressive attitude towards plants. Fiona had enjoyed kicking the buds of black-eyed Susans, lopping the leaves off lilacs, stomping on lamb's feet, and ripping roses out by the roots. Kimora had said that one day the garden gnomes would get revenge on feisty Fiona. Fiona had just laughed. The flora-phile had obviously snorted too much pollen.
But now Fiona wished she'd listened. When she came into the garden this morning to mutilate some maples, she got the surprise of her life when she was met by Rolf the head garden gnome, who informed her that it was time to pay the phyto-piper. Then the garden gnomes began to chant.
The next thing she knew, Fiona was imprisoned inside a blade of grass. And now she saw the lawn mower coming.

Feel free to add your own ideas to the story.
Original appearance here.

Sweet Tooth

Belinda and Irene wanted to maintain their girlish figures. But the cheesecake was so tempting. They thought that if they rubbed it on their mouths they could taste it without absorbing the calories. They wanted it more than sex, more than fame. They were torn. It was terrible. Were they not above gorging on cake?
They went to Yam Man's Self Actualization Workshop, where they discovered their Inner Fatty, and decided to heed the words of Marie Antoinette, who said it was perfectly all right for them to eat cake.

The story originally appeared here.