Decision for Anonymity

I made the decision to publish my book under a pseudonym, although I have always dreamed of seeing my name printed on a book cover and on the shelves next to the likes of Stephen King. The reason is due to the controversial nature of certain subject matter in the book. This may seem a cowardly decision--it did to me initially. These are the reasons that eventually swayed me in this direction.

First and foremost, my family.

My parents are in their elder years and my father isn't in the best of health. They don't need to be plagued by questions about what their lunatic daughter was thinking.

My brother doesn't need to be plagued by questions about whether the lunatic that wrote this book is his sister.

My son deserves to have a life that isn't overshadowed by his mother's controversial decision.

The fragile part of my psyche deserves to be protected.

Since I may well have to work a real job for the rest of my life, I want to be treated as normally as possible by my co-workers.

When I am older I may make the decision to let my real name be known.

Until then, look for a forthcoming book by one Lily Strange.

No Longer Dragged Down

But making what may seem a strange decision.

Although I intend to "advertise" the book on my blogs when it comes out, I do not intend to have a link to my blog world on the book's website.

I really prefer to have a place where I can express myself in relative anonymity.

I really don't care about getting a lot of hits on my blogs. I'd rather have a few quality hits than a lot of crap hits.

Some of my blogs have disappeared off my blog roll. They still exist but I've come to the decision that I'd rather reveal them to people who I think might actually appreciate them than make them available to the "general public" and encounter "huh?" and "I don't get it" constantly.

When the book is published, this blog will no longer be on the blog roll.

It's not one of my more high-traffic blogs, but it is one where I tend to spill my guts.

I think that everyone needs some degree of anonymity to their lives. I think that some of these celebrities end up acting like idiots because they're in the public eye too much. Some of them actually start believing their own bullshit hype. And that's a really dangerous thing. Because no-one can live up to an image, including an image that they may have created.

Images are indestructible. Real psyches are fragile.

My fragile psyche is the reason some of my blogs will become invisible to the eyes of all but a select few.

I'm not saying you should be wowed by this "honor" because I don't really think it's that great of an honor. But maybe you can feel a little warm and fuzzy if I trusted you that much, because I don't trust easily.

Dragged Down

I really feel discouraged right now.

My editor hadn't completed the segments I'd given him. His comment was "I've become overloaded with this. I've given it more attention than things I actually prefer reading. Even if it was a book I absolutely loved I'd be bored with it."

There was one chapter where I provided WTMI.

Well--guess that was very Stephen King of me. I go too in depth with secondary characters sometimes. In a way, for me there are no secondary characters. Probably because I'm bipolar I'm the queen of subplots. My pukey little brain is always going off in 1000 different directions.

I also decided to remove my Sphere of Music blog and my UNDEAD blog from the blogroll.

Why?

Because I'm sick of sharing something that I put my heart into with people that just don't get it.

Maybe I wasn't meant to write after all. Maybe I really am what everyone always said I was.

A loser.