Lez Girls

Originally posted on Indie's blog.

BTW, thanks for trying to recruit participants in the now-Undead Valentine's story contest, Indie. But Brittney really is much too intimidating. People are scared of her wrathfulness. And maybe I am too, just a little. Or it might be the spookiness of the tall spectral blond dude standing behind me--that's my co-author and he's just a tad bit ghostly, after all.

And now, without further adoo-doo, here is the story in all its glory!

"Ooh La La!" cried Pierre. "Les girls!"
He pulled his car over to the side of the road and beckoned for the two lovely lasses to come ride with him. He slicked back his hair and twirled his mustache, stroked his neat Van Dyke beard, and set his cap at a rakish angle.
"Where are you going, mon cheres a deux?" the randy Frenchman inquired, visions of menage a trois dancing in his head.
"To the Lesbian Power Convention, good sir," said the dark haired girl. "I'm Zoe and this is my wife Felicia. Thanks for offering us a ride. It's nice to meet people who are supportive of gay rights."
"Well, I was more right than I could have imagined," Pierre muttered to himself. "They are indeed Lez Girls."

Story Contest Declared a Bust

Story Contest Canceled
by Kizz Myass
for The Crappy Times

The Great Valentine's Story Contest (see post below) has been canceled due to fear of the wrath of Brittney and/or lack of interest. You're still welcome to submit a story if you wish but there is no longer any competitive factor. Yam Man would be proud!
Kizz Myass

The Icky Sticky Valentine's Day Story Contest

Brittney wants your Valentine's stories. Don't disappoint her!

The Great Valentine's Story Contest
by Brittney
All right, you little goobers. The turnout for the Horrors of Fruitcake Story Contest was horrifically pathetic, and that does not make me proud! Our panel of judges declared the tales of Knight and PANSI to be the winners. The Cheesemeister loses because she brought that horrific fruitcake into the Netherworld Hotel.
PANSI doesn't read if she can help it, and both Knight and Mrs. Weirdso already have a copy of The Cheeesemeister/Lily Strange's and The Spooky Guy's book. So we'll have to come up with alternate prize for them.
Now, I need for you rotten little goblins to think up your ickiest, squishiest, most mushy Valentine's story that you can come up with. The one that is the most pukey sweet will win one prize. Conversely, the best anti-Valentine tale of terror will win a prize. The contest will end on February 15th, which just happens to be the unholy date of Cheesemeister/Lily's 43RD BIRTHDAY! Yes, she really is an old bat. First prize is, once again, an autographed copy of Lily's/Spooky's book. Or if you already own one of those gems, we will come up with an alternative prize for you.
Hey, we realize it ain't no 6,666,666,666 Quatloos. But what do you expect from a broke-ass wannabe writer and a dead guy who doesn't have anyone better to haunt than a broke-ass wannabe writer?
Maybe you think you actually have to have talent to participate in these contests. Hah--think again! Lily and Spooky wrote a whole book. What does that tell you? And if PANSI can write a story ANYONE can! So let's see 'em. Don't be a loser and make me open a can of Whoop Ass on you!
Wickedly,
Brittney