Literary intelligence

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Yeah...I'm feeling a little discouraged about my book's potential right now, but ok.

Contemporary Authors Bio

This is my bio for the contemporary authors database:

I used to write simply as an outlet for the overwhelming emotions I always experienced, which I now know are due to bipolar disorder. I was always fascinated by the horror genre, perhaps because horrific creatures and scenarios could be used as metaphors for powerful emotions and sometimes uncontrollable situations. It also served as a catharsis for the terrifying nightmares that I have experienced all of my life.
Now I write for these reasons and additionally to allow my co-author, a discarnate spirit who lost his life to suicide, to have a creative outlet for his emotions and to impart his very important messages to the world as well. He is a great partner, incredibly intelligent, creative and supportive, and I can't imagine working without him ever again. We refine and balance each other's ideas.
I once wanted the glory of being published under my own name, but due to the controversy of my belief that I am creating my works with a somewhat notorious spirit, this is not possible. At first I grieved the loss of my dream of possibly having my own name recognized alongside the likes of Stephen King.
My personal renown no longer matters. What matters is the message my co-author and I can impart through our stories. We literally hope to save lives through our works. 50% of the profits from our books will be donated to the World Health Organization's mental health division.
In the long run, it really doesn't matter whether or not the reader believes that I'm actually working with a ghost. What matters is that he or she is intrigued enough by the book to buy a copy and hopefully tell their friends to do the same. Then we can help the World Health Organization prevent suicides and end the stigma that those with mental illness endure.

Promotion Crap

Trying to promote the book--the horror! Writing the thing was the easy part by compare. I've never been any good at self promotion and really getting noticed seems to be for established wealthy authors that actually have two pennies to rub together. Shit on a shingle! And I was dumb enough to think all I had to do was write stuff!

Book Description

This is the description of my book that I submitted to Amazon. What do ya think?

Description:
Horror fiction meets metaphysical truth in this tale penned by one incarnate and one discarnate author. The story, which began, in author Lily Strange's words, as a standard "lonely lady meets sexy male vampire" Gothic romance, made a drastic metamorphosis to include mythological creatures from various pantheons and allusions to real events which occurred in the extreme Metal underground in the 1990's. This metamorphosis was due to the incarnate author's accidental contact with a spirit who had inside information regarding certain incidents. This spirit is highly imaginative, and in Lily he found the perfect medium to not only help him exercise his frustrated creativity but to impart an important message to those who are still living--especially those struggling with severe depression or other mental illness that might prompt them to harm themselves. Fifty percent of profits generated from this book will be donated to the World Health Organization's Mental Health Division.

Author bio(s):
Lily Strange has had precognitive dreams ever since she can remember. She is able to sense the emotions of both the living and the discarnate. She does not hear the voices of spirits with her physical ears, she discerns their thoughts and emotions. She is also adept at reading Tarot cards. Lily copes with Type II Bipolar Disorder. This disease is characterized by severe depression alternating with periods of heightened self-esteem and optimism. Type II Bipolar is not characterized by extreme mania and is therefore difficult to detect. One of Lily's missions is to end the stigma that the mentally ill endure. Lily's co-author wishes to identify himself simply as "the ghost" at this time. He does not wish for any Earthly notoriety, much of which he considers to be "false advertising" to be a selling point for the book. He has two very important missions that he wishes to accomplish. His first mission is to prevent more souls from enduring the trauma caused by suicide, the reason for his own death. He hopes in some way to improve the current treatment available to those who are suicidal, which is why he wishes for his portion of the profits to be donated to the World Health Organization's efforts to assist the mentally ill and lower the suicide rate worldwide. "Those in so much pain that they consider ending their own lives should be treated with sympathy, not disdainfulness," he says. His second mission is to warn people not to mess with forces they don't understand. He says that while these forces may seem very attractive to a person whose life is going wrong, they have no allegiance to nor affection for those who call on them and will be perfectly happy to "bring even greater unhappiness to those foolish enough to mess with them." His third mission, he says, is to "prevent people from reading crappy writing." Therefore his recommendation is for everyone to "throw out all your other books and read this one. In fact, drop everything else you are doing and read it now."

Backcover copy:
With her long-awaited second marriage finally about to become a reality, acclaimed novelist Terry Bruckham is besieged with painful and terrifying memories. Those most closely associated with her are also assailed by disturbing dreams and obsessive thoughts. A sinister plan is being enacted in the Earth's Dreamlands, home to the sleeping and the Earthbound dead, as a troubled spirit wrestles with the warring pieces of his own psyche for the well-being or destruction of everything that exists. Discover the world beyond the wall of sleep and its marvelous residents, both good and evil. Lily Strange is the pen name of a creative soul who describes herself as "a reluctant medium." In real life, she is an emergency medical technician by profession. She is currently employed in a retirement community. Due to her innate abilities and personal challenges, Lily is also a lifelong student of both psychology and parapsychology, inspired by psychic and empathic experiences from her earliest memories, and challenged by emotional difficulties due to type II Bipolar Disorder, which onset at puberty. While editing a story which she had created 14 years previously, Lily had an experience which radically transformed not only the story but her own perspective on the living world and the world that lies beyond the veil of material existence. Inspired by the works of classic horror writers such as Ambrose Bierce, H.P. Lovecraft and Stephen King and aided by the skillful contributions of a literal "ghost writer," Lost Beneath The Surface is the first in a unique series of esoteric horror novels. Lily reluctantly decided to publish her creative work under a pseudonym due to the desire to protect the privacy of her family and to preserve her professional life from the potential ramifications of her controversial beliefs.

Inside-flap copy:
A group of psychically and emotionally bonded friends battle deities and demons to prevent the germination of the Dark Mind.

Author comments:
This is a much more unusual book than I had ever intended to write. The original story was simply a literary expression of the pain I was feeling about my decaying marriage. I picked it up again after it had collected dust for some thirteen years. Not long after, I accidentally contacted the spirit who would become my co-author. Neither of us had any intent for this to happen. It just worked out that way. I now consider my co-author to be as real a friend as any of my incarnate cohorts. He is very present in my life. The truth about him may surprise people. He is brilliant, imaginative, and, in spite of rumors to the contrary, has a great sense of humor. While I often consider my mediumistic abilities to be a mixed blessing, in this case I feel very blessed to have made such a treasured friend. Both authors hope that their their literary efforts will entertain, inform, and lead to a greater understanding and better treatment of the mentally ill.

My Three Offspring

This is one of those cases where the picture was necessary for the story to make any sense. The story and picture originally appeared here. What can you add?

"Bleeding hell, I do hope that Father doesn't expect us to stuff our arses into this thing to go to the North Plodqiddle Social," Master Jerry, the middle brother of the Wallingford clan muttered through his teeth.
"I think it might be right good fun, rather," said Master Garry, the youngest of the trio.
"Shut the bleeding hell up so they can take the picture," Master Nicholas, the eldest brother snarled menacingly through his perfect smile. "And then I'll have a chat with Father and see if he has truly lost his marbles. I simply can't see having the three of us stuffed into the back seat and Father riding up front with Xerxes when we've a perfectly good limo that will hold all of us comfortably."
"All in, Lads," said their father Sir Barry cheerfully. "'T'will be a bonny drive in the countryside this fine summer afternoon. Chop chop now!"
"Bleeding hell, he has lost his marbles," Jerry moaned.
"Nah, I think he's just been nipping at the rum Cook was using to flavor his birthday cake." Garry remarked. "Oh, come, lads, it will be fun, you'll see!"
"Bally chip off the old block," Nicholas groaned, thinking that in another month he could return to Oxford and concentrate on his forthcoming career as a dedicated purveyor of fashion.

More writing, but less silliness. Purchase my novel, Lost Beneath The Surface. 50% of proceeds donated to the World Health Organization's mental health division.

The Heat of a Dying Sun

This story originally appeared here. Can you continue it?
"Remember what it was like when the sun still shone yellow on the Earth?" Lisa asked Quint.
"I remember what it was like when the air was sometimes moist and the seas weren't all evaporating," he said.
"Do you ever wonder if eternal life may not have been such a wise plan after all?" she asked.
"It will be a moot point soon," he said.
They held hands and watched the gigantic red sun set over the drying sea, glad of the night and dreading another scorching day when it rose again.

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Ziggie's Folly

This story originally appeared here. Feel free to add to it.

"Snot!" said Ziggie. His favorite thong had gotten caught between the dryer drawer and the rotating drum. It was messing up everything. Now he would have to call the repairman, and he wouldn't have his lucky thong to wear on his date with Charles.
"I hope that wearing a not so lucky thong doesn't mean I won't get lucky," Ziggie mused.

Ziggie and his friends get lucky with videos from Adam Male.

Chef, Cook and Bottle Washer

I guess I'm doing pretty well considering that I'm everything but my own editor and publisher. I'm the author, the agent, the advertiser, the webmistress. And I'm damn tired!
The website has a new improved look. Please check it out. Consider becoming a sponsor. Currently the price is a link or banner exchange. If I ever get to be a big deal? Well as much as I've struggled I figure I'll charge big companies a lot and sincere small business people will still get to be a sponsor for the price of a link or banner exchange!
You can come advertise on my plugboard. I don't get a lot of traffic yet, but it's free! You will need an 88x31 banner. If you don't know how to make one, I can do it for you. Email cheesemeister@q.com to find out more.

Thinking about publishing your own book? Check out my publisher.

On To The Next One

I'm working on what actually is the prequel to my current book. The chapter we're dealing with now is going on 8 hours worth of work. Of course when finished, it won't take 8 hours to read!
Here's a preview sentence that you can play with. What do you think will happen next?

Jarius smiled tiredly.
“I am ready, Elan. Ready for this cursed fatigue to end. Ready to be undefeatable. I am ready to learn the ways of thy gods and goddesses and to receive their blessing. But I have one question. If my body is to be in the process of dying before reawakening to eternal life, how can it be explained to my family when I rise from the grave?”

That's all I can give ya--especially since the chapter's in first draft form! In the meantime, buy my current book and other cool stuff at my newest web store!

Paint This!

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait. And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Forever With Head In The Clouds

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Buy my book and see what kind of strange soul I really am.

War Games

The original story appears here.

"Sorry, gentlemen," the Lieutenant said. "The transport bringing the ammunition has a flat and ran off the road into a ditch. So we won't be having war games today. We'd best start walking back to camp. I know it's hot now but the weather report says we'll have a deluge later."
"That drunk sonofabitch Sanderson!" Victor muttered aside to Eldon. "The only reason he gets away with this crap is because he's the damn general's grandson!"
"Something you want to say, Corporal?" the Lieutenant asked.
"Merely that it's a fine day for a walk, Sir," Victor said, looking at the cloudless sky and wondering if the weather reporter might be a relative of the general's too.

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Samara's Lament

This short story originally appears here.
"Oh dearie my," sighed Samara. "If only my hands weren't so cold. I'll never find a man that can bear my icy touch. Maybe if I send up this balloon with my wish, the deities of death will bring someone who is undead like myself for me to make love to."

Feel free to add to Samara's story.

Brought to you by:

Giving In

I've been having suicidal thoughts and have been reading a lot of psych blogs today. I've incorporated both my own feelings and those of other survivors of abuse.

The original story appears here.

A SURVIVOR SUCCUMBS

No matter how long she stayed in the water, Wendy couldn't wash away the feeling of self hate that stopped her from living life. It wasn't the matter of taking some pill the doctor said would make her become closer to normal. It wasn't the matter of listening to a therapist tell her that she'd never be normal, but here were some ways that she could act so she'd pass. Deep inside, Wendy knew she was dirty, ugly and unlovable.
"You can't wash away the filth on the inside," Wendy thought.
She would never be loved. She would always be used and abandoned, just as all men had always used and abandoned her. Starting when she was very young, she must have been created simply to fulfill the pleasure of others and never receive love in return. She was worthless. And now Ellen, whom she thought was her salvation from all the horror and sorrow that had come before, had apparently used and abandoned her too.
Wendy glanced down at the straight razor sitting on the edge of the tub.

Would you open yours?

Here is my follow up to the two stories I linked to in the last post:

"Crap," said Eddie. "Do I open the fortune cookie or don't I? My friend Phillip opened a fortune cookie. It told him he would find the perfect woman. Which he did. But then he turned into a horrible monster and swam out to see to find R'Lyeh, whatever the hell that is. Then again Leonard opened a fortune cookie and it told him he'd take over a large business and be insanely successful. Oh, what to do, what to do?"
"Place is closing," the owner called to Eddie. "You going to eat that fortune cookie or no?"

Stories from beyond the stars

Here are some stories from my Mythos Encyclopedia blog.

Phillip's Woman
The Transformation

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More Publisher Drama

Got this message from Mago regarding my publisher crap:
The opinion of a non-business-man.
If the issue can not be cleared and nobody reacts when asked about this particular text - print it and bam: There's a book.
When somebody afterwards claims a violation of his copy-rights, so be it: Document the actual situation and what has been done and the reactions for your protection - it can not be that the non-reaction of somebody prevents a work of art from being published. There is always the possibility of a later agreement.

Publishing is publishing, no matter whether the result is printed professionally and in hardcover or via web and printed on my shruddle-ink-pissing-machine.
End of unreflected brabbling.
63mago | Homepage | 06.19.07 - 11:42 am | #

And I responded thus:

Mago,
I agree with everything you say. The need to have a professional looking book in hand is simply a personal desire. The book is no less a book if it's delivered in electronic form. But---waaaah! I want a BOOK that people can later pry from my cold dead hands--something where I can wave it around and say "I did this!"
I'm one of those authors that believes publicity is good, and as long as someone properly attributes my work to me, we're good. I wouldn't even take them to court for insulting me because there's no such thing as bad publicity, although I probably would rip them a new asshole.
By the very anal interpretation of the rules this publisher is using, I couldn't write a historical novel in which I quoted "Mein Kampf" to show what a nut case Hitler was and what drove him to his crimes against humanity because it was published in 1925. By their interpretation of the rule, the book would have to have been published before 1923. But nobody holds the copyright to this material, and unless Hitler discovered the fountain of youth and didn't actually commit suicide in his bunker but instead was beamed up by aliens from Sirius, he's dead.
Clark Ashton Smith has been dead for 46 years. I haven't been able to find any heirs nor any copyright holders. The material was used under fair use rules by Chaosium Publishing. I've never heard of anything this insane in my life! There is such a thing as too literal of an interpretation of a rule in most cases.
Cheesemeister | 06.19.07 - 6:06 pm | #

Here's something you can do in your spare time:



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Discouraged

I'm not feeling discouraged on the whole about writing but am feeling discouraged because of the publishing thing. I'm feeling pissed that I spent so much money on the publisher, totally went into hock, and now I may not be able to get the story published after all because of some little hang up. By law I actually could publish the book as it is, the publishing company are just being sticklers. I may have to give up on the idea of having the book in printed form and have to form a pay site, charge $5 for people to be able to access the book online, donate $2.50 per sale to the World Health Organization. I'll do it if I have to. The sooner I know what the hell is going down the better. This sucks.

Hang Ups

I couldn't have been born normal. Oh nooo. I had to be a writer. But I couldn't write nice romance novels. I had to be a freakazoid who talks to ghosts! And now my stupid novel is held up in the production. This is the cryptic letter I got from the publishing company.

Hi Cheesemeister,

While in the pre-publication phase of your manuscript, we noticed some potential copyright issues. Your manuscript may contain images and/or passages of text that are problematic. Here are our guidelines:

If your manuscript contains any images and/or text that you did not personally create as original material, you may not have the legal right to include such material in your manuscript. Such material includes lyrics to songs; excerpts from published stories, books, or poems; published and commercially produced images; images containing the likeness of someone you do not know personally (living or dead); and photographs taken by someone other than you or an immediate family member.

Outskirts Press will only publish images and/or text created or produced by someone other than the author if the material was first published before 1923 or if you have obtained written authorization from the legal owner of such material to publish it as part of your manuscript. Please be aware that Outskirts Press will not accept “Fair Use” claims nor will we accept bibliographic information acknowledging the source of the copyrighted material in lieu of written authorization.

If your manuscript contains images and/or text created or produced by someone else and you have not already obtained this written authorization, you must do so before we can publish your manuscript. Written authorization from the copyright holder is sufficient. I have attached a copy of the Authorization to Publish form for your convenience. Please fax all signed documentation to Outskirts Press at 888.672.6657.

If you need assistance securing permissions or verifying your rights to use, we can provide you with the name and contact information of a specialist who works and charges independently of Outskirts Press.

If you are unable to secure appropriate authorization or decide it is not worth the bother or expense, please remove the material from your manuscript so we can proceed with publication.

Outskirts Press has adopted this policy for the protection of all writers and creators of original images and photographs, and once you are published, we will protect your work in the same diligent manner.

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns about this issue, and I’ll be happy to help resolve them. I will wait to hear from you regarding this matter before proceeding.

Sincerely,

Eager Beaver

Aw, for fuck's sake!

I think I know which item might be the problem. I hope it isn't more than just this one thing. But could they have been SPECIFIC? You know, told me which thing was the problem instead of leaving me to guess? Oh noooo! That might be helpful!

I quote material from H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, William Drummond and Clark Ashton Smith in the book. I obtained permission from Arkham House to use the Lovecraft material. William Drummond was a poet from the 1500's. Edgar Allan Poe died in 1849. The Clark Ashton Smith story I quoted was published in 1935 and I credited him as the source, mentioning the story I got it from and where it was published. This magazine no longer exists. I thought enough time might have passed that I could use the material simply by crediting the source but it has to be before 1923. Shee-at! So I wrote to Chaosium to ask them where they got permission from to use Clark Ashton Smith's character Quachil Uttaus in their RPG books. Smith died in 1961, and I'm hoping that there won't be problems with the occasional blurbs (usually couched in double entendre) in some of my other text, using Mayhem lyrics because my publisher isn't going to buy that the guy who wrote the lyrics also wrote the sentences--through me, seeing as he died in 1991! But whatever the case may be, could my publisher perhaps have SPECIFIED what the problem was rather than leaving me to shoot in the dark? Criminy!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck!

Sometimes I really wish I was normal!

Easy To Be Hard

This week's sentence seems easy. But sometimes the easy ones are the most difficult!

You remember last year when I went to Norway with Tore to spend the summer with him and his cousin Gudrun in Oslo?

This silly literary game brought to you by Tore and his cousin Gudrun, and by: